It's about 11:08pm on Monday, October 11th. I'm home at my parent's house in the northern suburbs of the Twin Cities. My mom is sleeping right across the hall. It hasn't been an easy couple of nights for her. It hasn't been an easy year for her.
Last month, my mom lost all cognitive ability. Speech. Basic motor skills. Gone.
I went from being able to FaceTime my mom between naps on her end, broadcasts on my end, to not being able to receive a text response.
My mom had lost the ability to perform basic human functions.
On my end, I didn't know how to explain this to myself. Who am I supposed to talk to? Who is supposed to give me advice?
My interactions were limited to what we could carve out on my weekend visits home. I'd book it home on a Friday night following my Friday football show, trying to make it back before 1:30am.
The weekends were followed by a very emotional drive back to Duluth on Monday morning, where I would consequently zip up a Calvin Klein dress, put some concealer over my tear stained cheeks and go be the Northland's leader in sports, respectfully.
The low point? A weekend that I spent taking care of my 57 year old mom the way that she once cared for me. I am not complaining. I am happy to serve my parents in any way I can.
But nothing prepares you for having to spoon-feed your own mom at 25-years old.
No one knew this was happening. Not until I sat in the driveway on a Sunday night sobbing. I don't know if the tears were from the panic attack, the emotional toll or the lack of sleep or all of the above. I called and told my place of work that I wasn't okay. And that I needed a change.
All the details of that change I cannot directly disclose. But you know by now that I am no longer a sports anchor in Duluth. This was my choice. While I have loved being in Duluth and covering the wonderful teams over the last three years, going through what I have gone through gives you an entirely new perspective. A new avenue.
My old goals were to make the Northland laugh at 6&10. My new goal is to get my mom to laugh five times a day or more.
Lastly, there are a select number of people that mistake my nature over the past few months as one of hostility. I'm sorry if you're one of these people. I ask for grace and forgiveness. My family is going through the unimaginable right now. There's no doubt in my mind that The Almighty will bring us through it. But it's going to take a reliance on Him EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
Thank you for reading. And God Bless.
